The question is,
have I learned anything about life?
Only that human beings
are divided into mind and body.
The mind embraces all the nobler
aspirations, like poetry and philosophy,
but the body has all the fun.
The important thing, I think,
is not to be bitter.
You know, if it turns out that there
is a God, I don't think that he's evil.
I think the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
After all, you know,
there are worse things in life than death.
If you've ever spent an evening
with an insurance salesman,
you know exactly what I mean.
The key here, I think,
is to not think of death as an end,
but think of it more as a very effective
way of cutting down on your expenses.
Regarding love...
You know, what can you say?
It's not the quantity
of your sexual relations that count.
It's the quality.
On the other hand, if the quantity
drops below once every eight months,
I would definitely look into it.
Well, that's about it for me, folks.
Goodbye.
Thanks to Woody Allen to put it into words,
thanks to the rest of the new yorkers for the field
experimentation and to provide evidence for the theory.
